Saturday, October 14, 2006 ;
3:42 PM
okay finally, the year ended...it was quite sad, sec 4...it just ends like this, yesterday i had to just rush off without writing more...
well, went back to school, and saw, ah hao, aloy first...well, first thing i want to do is to know what would happen, (lmao, when me pops parked the car, marl called me just to make sure i had the song they wanted...so funny!)
anyways, i separated with me mom n pops later, cuz they are being taken care off, nicely i hope, by usherers...so, i went to find the others...
we sat down, waited until the thing started...took photos, tried to take karen oei and chia but they were so fast (i didnt know penguins could run!) anyway, when i received the award, well, i was so nervous!!! tried not to smile like a madass, and took photo with dear ex vp...
then, we sat and watched this really long prize presentation, until finally, we could find out what the special event really was, it was sing along! and it was a sad song...(i will try to be happy here, i know what it feels like to be sad...) then this ex student gave a speech...and guess what...i saw...me...in him...i did not believe it...he was like...me...everything...though not all of it...attitude, way of speech...well...i dont know...fate brings us so far, the rest of our lives is up to us...i just hope...my efforts wont be in vain...i used to think prayer does not work, now i beg the heavens for help...see me through this, i want a better tomorrow...god help us all...i am no buddhist no more...panic just rushed through me...who to believe? wht would happen in my o levels?
then, well, like the usual, someone told me, inside my head, told me to go on...face this battle, even though chances are slim...then i realized...my preparation wont go in vain, but it will, if i dont defeat the sole enemy...myself...
so things ended with plenty of meaning...
then we went to the plaza for some fun...haha...sparkles time! havet really enjoyed the fu of sparkles...kudos to dun who endured all the pain from stray sparks that fley to him...sorry dunxin! played like a jedi though...or was that ant's line? but it was fun...
went up, 8 boxes of pizza...went round taking photos...was kind of cool, cuz today, i really get totake a snapshot of the people...even her...
she was all that i really thought of...if i did nothing...i will live with the feeling that i have left anothe problem in the latch, in the shelf...i just hope i hadn't...then something told me that it hasnt...well...a number of things...she seemed to have softened that "coldness"...detenee...i can see detenee...things are softening...or is it because it is the last day...cross traffic lights, kev, n the others saying wierd things when i stand next to her...finally, left for carpark, waved a last goodbye...and i saw it..a smile...no my eyes were fooling me...old men always had such delusions, maybe...it might be just that...it told me...that there was hope...and there is still time...i really hope so... dont let the sands slip past me...
always was so resoluteabout me being alone...now, i have decided to step out of the box...which i did...and it landed me today, where i am...i am grateful for those that guided me...and well...i still feel that there is more dirty work to do...
i just hope she has forgiven me...i mean no harm at all...i just want the end to be alright...read her blog, and me name wasnt in it...(altho dear ant's wasnt too, but found it later with much effort, but i wont mind anyways...) ..hope it isnt too late for me at all...
still running the track that is time...i hope nothing is too late for me...sq...forgive me...god watch over 4e1... (lmao...)
anime of the time...SHAMAN KING!!!>>>
light my way ♥
