Thursday, June 21, 2007 ;
5:59 PM
okie here goes again!
joyous. thats what i would say. cant really speak much of my mind. one feels like skipping around and watching the skies as the clouds forms many mystical shapes.
ah the sun...it shines like a blaze....clouds are mounting high out there... but i am stuck in a musty room, doing papers all day long....
i wanna go barbecue! XD
eek, deviated to ellegarden...LOL
nvm, i try again tmr
light my way ♥
Wednesday, June 20, 2007 ;
4:49 PM
okie here goes...
i think i am going mad...i keep on seeing them again...i thought of the same incident last year but it looks like they are serious this time round......i am writing all these down now because i fear that i might leave and no one knows how i left...
i have been living in constant fear for a while already. and fear was not in my dictionary......until quite recently, when they start to hint to me that the time is coming.....
i am quite certain that that time is coming, so i have decided to do stuff that i like, quickly. for i dont know how much time i have left with me. even a month ago, when the lines started to appear on my palms, and having constant dreams that make no sense, of me dying...various ways......
just dont let it end when i havent done all that i wanna do...why cant take away all that is material to me. all those material things. they can just take it all they want. but it seems like this is it. i might have to go real soon..........i dont know when, i dont know how long i have left, but i had better spend my days happy. hopefully. a miracle happens, i can completely forget about all these, and keep my mind happy, then perhaps i can live on. but at what costs......
sometimes i just want it to end right now, but at times, i just fight to survive, begging with time to give me more time. i have so much to tell...so much to do, so much to make up to.....
imagine thinking of 5 to 6 things at any one instant. not being able to sleep at night. having ailments when you know you are definitely not going to get them. saying things that you dont mean, doing things when you cant control your actions. repeating what the voice in your head says......
please let it end.......
i am going to chronicle all these, in the hope that those who are going through this will find solace, knowing that they are not alone. i want them to know that they have to find those who really care for them now, and cherish them. i dont know how long i am going to remain sane, but as long as i can think with my own two feet, none of those things are gonna kill me...even if it means giving up the third eye......i so want to close the third eye, so i will never be able to see them...
i feel pain...
light my way ♥
Monday, June 18, 2007 ;
10:10 PM
eh long time never blog XD
okie where to start...ever since i left my band, i think i have been studying for some silly class tests and have been making some silly mistakes in them too...i just hope that when i get back my papers, i dont get anything....silly...hehehe... XD
anyways, that week passed without much incident, unless you count me cancelling the jam room, which took quite a while, because apparently they have this policy where they do not refund so easily XD...anyways,learnt how to play pool on that day...thanks boon, thanks fallout boy! arigatou gozaimas! XD
anyways the weekend ended without much incident too, then came the camp, and i brought my silly tiger racket along for no apparent reason XD........then had lots of silly stuff, but it was fun. especially twster. both nights i did not sleep much, esp the second night, where i practically did not sleep at all, and i think i played mahjong throughout...
then comes after the camp. this silly incident involving my neighbour....we had an agreement, and since i was heading over to me cousin's place to stay over until sunday and fix some stuff at his place, i rekon i could lend him my phone and i did...
in the end, people like ant were complaining to me about stuff like why i wanna head over to their house and beat them up, and why kelly chua would ring me up asking me to shut up about asking her out, and why would nelson say something about wanting to kick my ass...hmm...
and yes, saw, william,kirk, ashy, jh, des, lin....i was like omg...u called them all, and u used so many of my sms for no reason......so i snatched back my phone on sunday 1pm and scolded him till his undies dropped. man he really misplaced my trust XD....
so fumed with him.......aron u see this you better go rethink ur action man.
now i wonder what he wrote to ash, and some of the girls...their names are on my call list, and i fear he may have said hurtful things...wednesday evening i shld have realized it. i took my phone back awhile cuz i need to go to sunshine plaza meet club members and say hi to dearest kirk and smile to ashy. then i see names in my call list, which i noe i never call. but i never take notice. think next time, NO LENDING PERSONAL ITEM TO OTHERS!
me have enough...now i am gonna wait for my bro to mod some game and lemme try it XD...now i wanna make some phone calls and see if i can get through...
think i might have to sit down and start to mug very soon...
light my way ♥
Sunday, June 03, 2007 ;
6:24 PM
gone are the days when music and jamming sessions will burden me hehe...after the gig, i am officially out! wee~~~
now i spend my days in bliss and knowing that i have my personal problems to solve, ties to mend, and people to speak to again...
hmm...another busy week coming up! with tests!
light my way ♥
