Wednesday, June 20, 2007 ;
4:49 PM
okie here goes...

i think i am going mad...i keep on seeing them again...i thought of the same incident last year but it looks like they are serious this time round......i am writing all these down now because i fear that i might leave and no one knows how i left...

i have been living in constant fear for a while already. and fear was not in my dictionary......until quite recently, when they start to hint to me that the time is coming.....

i am quite certain that that time is coming, so i have decided to do stuff that i like, quickly. for i dont know how much time i have left with me. even a month ago, when the lines started to appear on my palms, and having constant dreams that make no sense, of me dying...various ways......

just dont let it end when i havent done all that i wanna do...why cant take away all that is material to me. all those material things. they can just take it all they want. but it seems like this is it. i might have to go real soon..........i dont know when, i dont know how long i have left, but i had better spend my days happy. hopefully. a miracle happens, i can completely forget about all these, and keep my mind happy, then perhaps i can live on. but at what costs......

sometimes i just want it to end right now, but at times, i just fight to survive, begging with time to give me more time. i have so much to tell...so much to do, so much to make up to.....

imagine thinking of 5 to 6 things at any one instant. not being able to sleep at night. having ailments when you know you are definitely not going to get them. saying things that you dont mean, doing things when you cant control your actions. repeating what the voice in your head says......

please let it end.......

i am going to chronicle all these, in the hope that those who are going through this will find solace, knowing that they are not alone. i want them to know that they have to find those who really care for them now, and cherish them. i dont know how long i am going to remain sane, but as long as i can think with my own two feet, none of those things are gonna kill me...even if it means giving up the third eye......i so want to close the third eye, so i will never be able to see them...

i feel pain...


light my way ♥


Profile ;
name: Jen jenocideDC.
birthday: 17/01/90
zodiac: capricorn

what do you wanna know...
hmm...okays, just read my blog
to find out what i like lol

interests ;
manga art, silly stuff...jrock, jpop...bands: Asian Kung-Fu Generation(AKFG), ELLEGARDEN, Do As Infinity, HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR, Gazzette, Dir En Grey, An Cafe,many more...
think i like reading manga on the net, or just download them...music, just listen on my mp3, the ultimate isolating technology...and yes, i so wanna upgrade my stuff now...
guess thats it?

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